February 8, 2014
Buddhism, JOY, Law of Attraction, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Nichiren, personal development
Buddha in me Buddha in you, Buddhism, determination, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, SGI, Steve Williams OBE, Thomas Edison, winter always turns to spring
What is the fundamental purpose of winning in our lives? Of course it is partly to achieve our own goals, overcome our limitations and become happier. But I feel that the biggest impact when we win is that we encourage others who are struggling. If we win today in our lives, if we defeat our darkness, our lesser self and our illusions, then people on the verge of victory will have a final breakthrough, people who are fighting will keep going, people who have given up will find the strength to start again and people who have never fought will discover the spark of hope. This is what happens when the Buddha in Me meets the Buddha in You.
Steve Williams OBE, Mr. Determination…
Of course personal development books are full of wonderful examples of determined people who never gave up. For example, Thomas Edison’s 10,000 attempts to create a light bulb and James Dyson’s 5,127 failures before his bagless vacuum cleaner worked. And I was inspired to hear a speech by former Team GB rower Steve Williams OBE, winner of two Olympic gold medals, who quoted the words of his coach Jurgen Grobler before the Athens 2004 final: “It will get so dark and hurt so much that you will cry out for your mother and your father, but you will win on the last stroke.” (And they did, by 0.08 of a second.) I love this image and often quote these words to my clients when they feel like giving up on their goals. And when I have a setback or failure myself, the first question I ask when I look in the mirror is: “How badly did you really really want it?”
December 15, 2013
Buddhism, Buddhist book, Happiness, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, personal development, SGI, Soka Gakkai
Amazon Kindle, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Nichiren Buddhism, Nichiren Buddhist blog, SGI
Thank you to the readers who’ve been asking me when the book of this blog is coming out. And apologies to anyone who thought it was already available and engaged in fruitless searches on Amazon (other online bookstores are available…). I am finalising the manuscript right now and aiming to have the Kindle version published by February 2014. Around 20% of the book is now on this blog.
My aim and ichinen is that this book will be as accessible as the best self-help / personal development books that I have loved and as profound as the best books on Nichiren Buddhism. Most of all I want it to be inspirational, encouraging and uplifting.
September 8, 2013
Buddhahood, Buddhism, Happiness, harmony, Life, personal development, society, Success
Daisaku Ikeda, fulfil potential, Limiting beliefs, Myers-Briggs, Nichiren Buddhist blog, Personality test, Stereotyping
As I wrote in my last post, Nichiren Buddhism teaches that each of us has innate brilliance. And I often tell delegates on my training courses that we are all magnificent works in progress. When we deeply respect others, we get this point and are able to see their potential, (even though right now they may be manifesting more of their dark side than their brightness.) This approach makes for more harmonious families at home, more productive departments at work, more forgiving friendships in the pub and better football teams on a Saturday morning.
As Daisaku Ikeda explains: “We are unlimited beings. Our struggle to surmount our obstacles and sufferings and fulfil our dreams is always finally the struggle to overcome the limitations we have accepted within our own heart.”
Photo: Melson Diniz, SGI Brazil
The problem is that we’re hardwired to stereotype and label people, including ourselves. “He’s a complete jerk.” “She’s a total angel.” “They’re utter idiots.” Perhaps this sort of stereotyping served us well in our prehistoric days, when survival depended on deciding very quickly that a sabre-toothed tiger was always bad news, with no shades of grey… But in the modern age, when we use negative labels to describe people we’ve argued with, we prolong the rift and block the seeds of hope from which forgiveness and progress can bloom. (See a previous post called ‘The two words to ban from all your arguments.‘
June 23, 2013
Buddhism, Confidence, personal development, Respect, Wisdom
Daisaku Ikeda, goals, Happiness, Naked Leader, Nichiren Buddhist blog, overcoming jealousy, SGI
Recently several of my clients have shared with me that they feel jealous and/or that they find themselves comparing their lives unfavourably to the lives of others.
But when we compare ourselves to others, we are ignoring our own uniqueness, as Daisaku Ikeda reveals when explaining one of Nichiren’s famous writings: “Cherries are cherries. Peaches are peaches. A cherry could never become a peach. It wouldn’t be necessary. Even if it did, it wouldn’t be happy. We should live in a way that is true to ourselves. We could not become someone else, even if we wanted to. Our lives are precious and irreplaceable.”
In other words you’re better off being the best cherry you can be rather than wishing you had been born a peach. (Or having facelifts until you look like a peach…)
April 27, 2013
Buddhism, JOY, Life, personal development, Wisdom
Buddhism, Daisaku Ikeda, Nichiren, Nichiren Buddhist blog, problems, Serenity Prayer, SGI, suffering
Here is one of Nichiren’s most famous quotes about the Buddhist approach to dealing with problems: “Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life and continue chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, no matter what happens.”
A great palace (pic by Tiffany Wright)
I have known Buddhists who base their whole lives just on these 32 words, re-reading them whenever the going gets rough. Or when it gets smooth. Or anything in between. Or for no reason at all. But how many of us get this advice completely back to front?
April 13, 2013
Buddhism, Confidence, FOOTBALL, Happiness, personal development, society, Winning Edge
disadvantaged kids, encouraging young people, hope, kids fulfilling potential, SGI youth, Winning Edge, youth of today
Last week I had the good fortune to be training some teenagers from Southend in Essex, one of my favourite seaside towns. All of them had been excluded from mainstream schools and/or came from disadvantaged backgrounds. Luckily there are two people who believe in their potential, their teacher Rachael O’Brien and Stuart Long (of South Essex Homes), who have set up a Football Club for them, with funds they have fought long and hard to obtain. More info on Southend ATF (Achievement Through Football) here: http://achievementthroughfootball.org/
We had two marvellous days together, a mix of football plus the mindset and happiness stuff I teach on The Winning Edge personal development programme. This wonderful experience proved that with some warm but strict encouragement plus a more positive way of looking at themselves and the world, even kids who’ve had the toughest starts in life can discover a spark of hope, an inner resilience and a new sense of purpose. More about these lovely kids and their dreams at the end of this post.
March 31, 2013
Buddhism, Compassion, Depression, Determination, Happiness, JOY, Life, personal development, Self-esteem
Alastair Campbell, Buddhism, Causes of depression, Darren Eadie, depression, Leon McKenzie, overcoming depression, Personal development, Prozac, SGI
Five years ago, I decided to chant about the fact that I’ve always tended to wake up in a grumpy, grouchy mood. It was a fairly casual decision born of curiosity and no little guilt that my ‘low life-state’ often had a negative impact on people around me.